for Love and Heartbreak || Day seven #9sneezesofgratitude

Yep, in the matter of heart, every year has its own story. 2016 is no difference. But looking back at it, I’ve come to understand that things happens for a reason.

And both love and heartbreak has to be gratified in the end. So today I’m thankful for them.

Love is quite a strong word and I’m afraid of using it, quite frankly. So instead, let me use the word Like, It probably described our feelings in this story better.

I like someone this year, I like him a lot and I think I’ve like him quite awhile. He liked me before and he liked me still. We had our moments but It passed too soon. 

he broke my heart because eventhough he said he liked me too, he don’t act like he did. Maybe he does at the beginning, but then he pull away, leaving me in haze.

In the end I decided to end our unclear relationship because if it’s true love, we wouldn’t hesitated. 

But we did. He did. I did.

And maybe we didn’t even actually try to make our relationship work to begin with.

or maybe for this story (this long long story that I couldn’t tell completely at least now), our timing is not right.

or maybe we’re just not meant to be.

nonetheless, this story teach me that a relationship needs both sides to work and that sometimes feeings changed.. feelings fade.. and that’s okay. This doesn’t mean that it was fake, this just means that the relationship doesn’t last and that he wasn’t the one.

so I am thankful for our feelings in the past. It did make me happy for some times. and I am grateful for the heartbreak, it moves me foward.

You may be afraid to feel again after a heartbreak, I did, and I did for some time that I push people away, putting everyone in the edge.

but one day (or it wouldn’t actually be precise to say “day” since really time doesn’t actually determine heart matters, So it’s better to say..

But one person, the right one, will make your heart melt again. and somehow, eventhough the fear is still there, you fall again.

In the end of this year, a person showed up, a person also with love and heartbreak in the past, and he makes me feel again.

It’s too soon to say love and it’s too soon to say there wouldn’t be heartbreak in our story,

but it’s a start. and I tell you what,

no matter how our relationship become or if it ends,

in the next year, I’ll be grateful for this too. For him, for a possible love, and for a possible (although not very longed) heartbreak.

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